Sarah Palin
Survivor: the Election Edition
After Barack Obama spoke at the Democratic National Convention, I went to bed like most hopeful liberals, renewed and optimistic. We had fretted over the narrowing in national polls showing McCain drawing even without real cause. The hysteria around the Hillary and Obama feud faded as Obama’s uplifting oratory only seemed to heighten his issue-smart specific policies, and would usher in a new era of positive social change, sustainable environmentalism, and peace.
As you all know, the next morning McCain picked Sarah Palin to be his Vice-Presidential running mate. Then the Republican National Convention seemed to be about two things: 1) Be afraid of Barack Obama, and 2) You should vote for the McCain/Palin ticket because Palin continues to distinguish herself as an issue-challenged, scandal-prone political oddity, and inasmuch flawed, just like you.
Since Palin’s pick, every day brings out a new revelation that Palin is ill-suited for the job one septagarian heartbeat away from the Presidency. By the way, I taught my high school students that the Bush Doctrine was defined as the U.S. strategy of pre-emptive attack (in the case of Iraq it was going on offense as defense). Is it reasonable that high school students know more about U.S. war policy than a candidate for Vice President?
Here is what I have learned about McCain’s pick, his lead in the polls, and the future of this country:
1). McCain has turned his campaign over to Mark Burnett (the creator of Survivor). Republicans have chosen the ultimate reality contestant (Sarah Palin) in the highest stakes reality show ever. The red-meat State appeal of Palin is undeniable:
Exhibit A) Palin Is A Five-kid, Pro-Life, Super Hockey Mom With A Special Needs Child!
Reality Show Revelation: Palin votes against sex education programs and has a pregnant teenage daughter. Triumph Over Adversity! Oh, Palin is really just a five-kid REAL Mom with REAL issues (just like you)!
Exhibit B) Palin Is A Maverick Who Will Take On Special Interests!
Reality Show Revelation: Palin has an ethics scandal involving nepotism (favoring your relative by firing that meanie state trooper). Triumph Over Adversity! Oh, that just means she will stand up for her kin, and who doesn’t have an ethic’s scandal these days?!
Exhibit C) Palin Is A Sassy Talker Who Isn’t Afraid of the Liberal Media!
Reality Show Revelation: Disney-Owned ABC interview and mild ol’ Charlie Gibson expose how incompetent and unprepared Palin is (she was like a wind-up doll repeating what they told her to say until Gibson asked her about substantive issues and like a fembot, she seemed to tweak and blow a gasket). Triumph Over Adversity! Oh, the press is so, so, so mean! And why wouldn’t we want a real person who may not be so smart, but she is so likeable!
2) McCain/Palin is not only the “just like me vote” for American Idol America, it is also the ultimate cynic’s vote from unscrupulous Republicans who know that McCain has traded his soul and is now indistinguishable from the Bush/Rove nightmare of the last eight years. The next five weeks will reveal that Palin is further unqualified and these Republicans who smile at just how clever they are will only divide the country further.
3) How crazy is it that Americans like voting for people based on gut feelings over competence?
4) How crazy is it that Americans like voting for people based on gut feelings over competence? [No type-o, I just think this is exactly how we got George W. Bush. We seem to want to repeat ourselves, so I am just giving into the urge.]
5) Barack Obama WOULD usher in a new age of positive social change, sustainable environmentalism, and peace. And I will not fall victim to the Republican cynicism that predicts liberals like me will fold.
Will other liberals, moderates, and independents fold or will hope triumph over cynicism in this country once more?
Stay tuned! Because next on Survivor: the Election Edition, Sarah Palin delivers a heartfelt video to her fishing-husband aboard his ultra-dangerous fishing expedition in the melting arctic circle!
After Barack Obama spoke at the Democratic National Convention, I went to bed like most hopeful liberals, renewed and optimistic. We had fretted over the narrowing in national polls showing McCain drawing even without real cause. The hysteria around the Hillary and Obama feud faded as Obama’s uplifting oratory only seemed to heighten his issue-smart specific policies, and would usher in a new era of positive social change, sustainable environmentalism, and peace.
As you all know, the next morning McCain picked Sarah Palin to be his Vice-Presidential running mate. Then the Republican National Convention seemed to be about two things: 1) Be afraid of Barack Obama, and 2) You should vote for the McCain/Palin ticket because Palin continues to distinguish herself as an issue-challenged, scandal-prone political oddity, and inasmuch flawed, just like you.
Since Palin’s pick, every day brings out a new revelation that Palin is ill-suited for the job one septagarian heartbeat away from the Presidency. By the way, I taught my high school students that the Bush Doctrine was defined as the U.S. strategy of pre-emptive attack (in the case of Iraq it was going on offense as defense). Is it reasonable that high school students know more about U.S. war policy than a candidate for Vice President?
Here is what I have learned about McCain’s pick, his lead in the polls, and the future of this country:
1). McCain has turned his campaign over to Mark Burnett (the creator of Survivor). Republicans have chosen the ultimate reality contestant (Sarah Palin) in the highest stakes reality show ever. The red-meat State appeal of Palin is undeniable:
Exhibit A) Palin Is A Five-kid, Pro-Life, Super Hockey Mom With A Special Needs Child!
Reality Show Revelation: Palin votes against sex education programs and has a pregnant teenage daughter. Triumph Over Adversity! Oh, Palin is really just a five-kid REAL Mom with REAL issues (just like you)!
Exhibit B) Palin Is A Maverick Who Will Take On Special Interests!
Reality Show Revelation: Palin has an ethics scandal involving nepotism (favoring your relative by firing that meanie state trooper). Triumph Over Adversity! Oh, that just means she will stand up for her kin, and who doesn’t have an ethic’s scandal these days?!
Exhibit C) Palin Is A Sassy Talker Who Isn’t Afraid of the Liberal Media!
Reality Show Revelation: Disney-Owned ABC interview and mild ol’ Charlie Gibson expose how incompetent and unprepared Palin is (she was like a wind-up doll repeating what they told her to say until Gibson asked her about substantive issues and like a fembot, she seemed to tweak and blow a gasket). Triumph Over Adversity! Oh, the press is so, so, so mean! And why wouldn’t we want a real person who may not be so smart, but she is so likeable!
2) McCain/Palin is not only the “just like me vote” for American Idol America, it is also the ultimate cynic’s vote from unscrupulous Republicans who know that McCain has traded his soul and is now indistinguishable from the Bush/Rove nightmare of the last eight years. The next five weeks will reveal that Palin is further unqualified and these Republicans who smile at just how clever they are will only divide the country further.
3) How crazy is it that Americans like voting for people based on gut feelings over competence?
4) How crazy is it that Americans like voting for people based on gut feelings over competence? [No type-o, I just think this is exactly how we got George W. Bush. We seem to want to repeat ourselves, so I am just giving into the urge.]
5) Barack Obama WOULD usher in a new age of positive social change, sustainable environmentalism, and peace. And I will not fall victim to the Republican cynicism that predicts liberals like me will fold.
Will other liberals, moderates, and independents fold or will hope triumph over cynicism in this country once more?
Stay tuned! Because next on Survivor: the Election Edition, Sarah Palin delivers a heartfelt video to her fishing-husband aboard his ultra-dangerous fishing expedition in the melting arctic circle!
posted by Not Why, Why Not? @ 12:21 PM
1 Comments:
At 4:19 PM ,
Anonymous said...
I agree, David. It is nothing but pure insanity that this woman could become our next President. I am horrified that our nation could be ignorant enough to elect McCain with her as his running mate. Like Matt Damon, I find her "terrifying." Her contempt for the environment, her dismissive arrogance toward the realities of global warming, her belief in the censorship of books in public libraries, her extreme Pentecostal beliefs, and countless other small minded and mean-spirited assumptions she has voiced,solidifies my belief that the effect on our nation--should she step into the President's shoes-- would be catastrophic. America choosing this ticket at this very crucial time in history, is like opening Pandora's box and releasing all its woes upon the world. Only in this case, there would be no Hope.
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